Thursday, October 27, 2016

An Interview with a Storied Legend

The Man Behind the Shell

A legendary story of speed and flakiness versus endurance and commitment stole the hearts of oracles for decades.  A sure bet was made in service of what some considered to be an obvious favorite, creating the brilliant underdog story for years to come.  In the midst of all of this lesson learning and storytelling was two lives, individual, but absolute critical partners in what would become an example for all descendants of greatness.

Today we got the chance to sit down and talk to the Tortoise from the legendary account of an unprecedented race from a near lifetime ago (The Tortoise and the Hare).

PLYOGA: Tell us what it was like to be part of a competition where you would most assuredly lose, but won, and in doing so, changed the course of history?

Tortoise: Thank you for doing this.  The truth is that you just never know what you are capable of until you try.  When starting the race that day, I thought it was just a formality for me, something for people to talk about, but I never imagined the impact it would have on the world forever.

P:  What has changed in your life after creating what is possibly the most famous underdog story of all time?

T: Clearly you do not watch baseball.  If either the Indians or the Cubs win, it’s an underdog story.  That’s real magic.  Realistically though, I have been given a life full of meeting awesome people as a life coach.  I also sort of gave my whole species a progressive advantage because everyone thinks we are naturally slow.

P: Everyone thinks you are slow?  Can you explain?  You say that as if you are not?

T: Sure.  The premise behind the entire story of the Hare and I was that there some predetermined outcome that I was slow and incapable of doing something I was challenged to do.  Most people have no clue that in a heightened or alarmed state, Tortoises can travel up to 23 Miles per hour.  Most tortoises do not even know what they are capable of.

P: WOW! This is something new to me as well.  We are learning something new every day.  We should call the Hare and ask him if he knew the deck was not so strongly in his favor when the race started.  Are you guys still friends?  Do you keep in touch?

T: I visit his final resting place from time to time.  As you may know, Hares only live about 7 years, but he was very spontaneous.  You know from the story that he stopped to rest and eat everything and ANYTHING during the race, which is why he lost.  He was skinny fat.  He was very distracted.  A year after our race, on his 4th birthday, he stopped to eat vegetation growing in the crack of street pavement and was taken out by a Ford Model T.

P: A Ford Model T?  That was last made in 1927. WHEN WAS THIS!?

T: 1926.  I’m sure if you did not know that Tortoises are capable of running 23 MPH, you likely also did not know that we can live up to 110 years? 

P: That is a long time!

T: Again, The Cubs have not won a world series in 108 years, and there is some woman named Vivian in Kankakee who was a baby when they won.  She is now like 900 years old.  Truthfully though, many tortoises do not live that long.

P: Whats your secret?

T: Beside the fact that my sponsors gave me a Teflon coated shell, I eat really clean.  I live on leafy greens, small amounts of hard vegetables, and moist fruits.  I also move every day, and despite my age of 90, I am faster, sharper, and stronger than ever.

P:  This has been a lot of fun.  I am sure you have offered advice to countless people everywhere.  What would be one critical thing you would like to share with the people who follow PLYOGA?

T: If you go hard and fast all of the time, you will be agile and quick for a little while.  If you want to be strong, healthy, and smarter for the long haul; eat well, exercise smart, recover effectively, and never underestimate yourself. 

P:  Thanks for that.  Would you be so kind as to accept our Motto for your shell?  We feel it embodies what you are all about.

T:  Terrific!  YOUR BODY IS POWER!  I love it.

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